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Choose the
Best Solution for You
to help you make better choices to have the time of your life.
You don't have to believe in Murphy's Law. Find out how to tap into positive energy.
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More Laughs
Laughter is the Best Medicine, and a
Natural Energy Booster
Aussie
Aussie Aussie - What it means to be Australian
Being Australian is about
driving in a German car to an Irish pub for A Belgian beer, then travelling
home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit
on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
Oh and... Only in Australia ... can a
pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Australia ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the
way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Australia ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries
and a DIET coke.
Only in Australia ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens
to the counters.
Only in Australian ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on
the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Australia ... do we use answering machines to screen calls And
then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't
want to talk to in the first place.
Only in Australia ... are there disabled parking places in front of
a skating rink.
The Washington Post Style Invitational
Readers were asked to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's
winners:
*Bozone* (n): The substance surrounding a stupid person that stops
bright ideas from penetrating.
*Foreploy* (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting another to sleep with you.
*Cashtration* (n): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.
*Giraffiti *(n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
*Sarchasm *(n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.
*Inoculatte* (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
*Hipatitis *(n): Terminal coolness.
*Osteopornosis* (n): A degenerate disease in one's bones.
*Karmageddon *(n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.
*Decafalon* (n): The grueling grind of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
*Glibido* (v): All talk and no action.
*Dopeler effect* (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
*Arachnoleptic fit* (n): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
*Beelzebug* (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
*Caterpallor* (n): The color you turn after finding a grub in the fruit
you're eating.
How to clean your house....
1. Open a new file in your PC .
2. Name it "Housework."
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN.
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN.
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want To delete
Housework permanently?"
6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press mouse button
firmly......
Feel better? Works for me!
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